[action] The Frozen Depths of Hell!

[evildoorstop]

[Murray has found himself outside a lot lately, in the cold and the snow, but now it's time to take advantage of it. He is currently sitting on top of the fountain, soaked and icy. He has some little icicles forming in his eye sockets and at the back of his skull. Despite his icy situation, he seems diabolically cheery, calling out to random people passing by.]

Beware my frozen sockets of doom! This land will be smothered in the winters of death! Beware! Turn back! Turn back! Before the frozen depths of hell envelop you! [And other such threatening comments.]

Comments

[evildoorstop]

Right...Wait I'm worth far more than any widow!

[all7seas]

Six, then! Five and a bonus for you being a proud-hearted bastard and all!

[evildoorstop]

Ah, a bonus! I'm in! [He hasn't lost sight of the original argument, no not all!]

[all7seas]

Excellent! Now it will all take a certain amount of strategizing, what with you having no legs and all, but I believe I have the perfect solution to that.

[evildoorstop]

Does it involve getting me legs?

[all7seas]

More BETTER. Involves you getting WHEELS!

[evildoorstop]

What? A chariot or something? A hellish chariot!

[all7seas]

Errmmmmmmmmmmmmsortof. Possibly even more exciting, lad. Have you ever heard of "remote control"?

[evildoorstop]

I've heard of control.

[all7seas]

Picture control.......remotely.

[evildoorstop]

Like possession! Or a spell! And I will be doing this controlling?

[all7seas]

Well no. You don't have any arms! Unless somehow we got your mouth involved....

[evildoorstop]

[Needless to say, he's getting just a little lost.] If I'm not in control, what do I do?

[all7seas]

You blaze in on the wheels! With flickering hellfire in your eyes! [Or flashlights.] Screaming piratish threats! Terrorize 'em, lad!

[evildoorstop]

[Now this is more within his understanding.] Terror! Mayhem! BWAHAHAHA!

[all7seas]

They drop their loot and run away, and we come out the victors!

[evildoorstop]

Yes! Yes! When do we start?

[all7seas]

We'll have to wait until some of this snow melts. I fear the automobile will not run very well on it.

[evildoorstop]

Accursed snow!

[all7seas]

Now, now! The snow can be very helpful, especially to a bone-white fellow like yourself. Perfect camouflage!

[evildoorstop]

That's true! All the better to ambush with.

[all7seas]

Though I don't half suppose you'd make a funny roly-path through the snow. Highly identifiable. You'll need an alibi.

[He seats himself on the edge of the fountain.]

And a wig.

[evildoorstop]

This handsome head has gotten around. I suppose it would be recognisable. But, how else can I take the glory of their fear?

[all7seas]

Oh, I shouldn't worry about that. You're going to taste it, tongueless though you are. You'll taste it as they tremble, mate.

[evildoorstop]

[He's silent for a moment, possibly imagining that...or trying to remember what it's like to taste anything. It's hard to be sure.]

Yes...Yes, but will they know it's me doing the tasting and scaring? It's my name that needs to be feared! Not some other...wigged...skull.