[action] The Frozen Depths of Hell!

[evildoorstop]

[Murray has found himself outside a lot lately, in the cold and the snow, but now it's time to take advantage of it. He is currently sitting on top of the fountain, soaked and icy. He has some little icicles forming in his eye sockets and at the back of his skull. Despite his icy situation, he seems diabolically cheery, calling out to random people passing by.]

Beware my frozen sockets of doom! This land will be smothered in the winters of death! Beware! Turn back! Turn back! Before the frozen depths of hell envelop you! [And other such threatening comments.]

Comments

[immamartillo]

If you're so bored, how about you find some stories that are actually scary? I hear this guy named Poe wrote some good ones.

[evildoorstop]

Who is this Poe? And what does he know about terror?

[immamartillo]

He's a famous writer- stories and poems and all that. He's really popular back where I come from; tells a better story than you just did.

[evildoorstop]

I see-Hey!

[immamartillo]

What? It's the truth.

[evildoorstop]

Ha, you wouldn't know a scary story if it ripped out your heart. Right in front of you!

[immamartillo]

Oh, please, my best friend used to read that stuff to me all the time.

[ But Murray's probably right. And you can't really beat a talking skull for knowledge about scariness. ]

[evildoorstop]

Really? What kind of stories did this Poe person tell?

[immamartillo]

Lemme see... There was one about a guy stuck in a pit with all these rats and this big knife swingin' over him. Another where a guy bricked his friend up in a wine cellar for insultin' him.

[evildoorstop]

Rats are cute. Er, uh, ahem. Bricked in a cellar, how malevolent! Not very scary though.

[immamartillo]

...Cute? How the hell can ya call those things cute?

[evildoorstop]

Their beady little red eyes burning with the flames of hell! Tails like whips. They scare people! Rats are great.

[immamartillo]

[ Now you're scaring him, Murray. ]

I don't see how that makes 'em cute.

[evildoorstop]

[At last!]

And with their little fleshy toes they can crawl over people while they sleep!

[immamartillo]

So they're annoyin', that's still not cute!

[evildoorstop]

But the squeals you humans make at the mere sight of them is adorable! And have you seen those sharp little teeth?

[immamartillo]

Seen 'em more than I'd have liked to.

[ He runs a hand through his hair. ]

You're really weird.

[evildoorstop]

Ha, at least I'm not afraid of little things like rats.

[immamartillo]

I'm not afraid! They're just pests.

[evildoorstop]

Creepy pests?

[immamartillo]

Annoyin' pests.

[ Creepy too, but Firo's not admitting that. ]

[evildoorstop]

Makes them even better!

[immamartillo]

I'm sure you guys are the best of friends.

[evildoorstop]

I do like them.

[immamartillo]

Well, then how about ya go find all the rats around here and lead 'em off. Like the pied piper.